ThisShouldOnlyBeYourName@SeriouslyJustYourName.com

When I receive a resume from IUseRecreationalDrugsAndHaveAWeirdClownRelatedFetish@SomeonePleaseHireMe.com, I often wonder (after bleaching my brain) what high school guidance counselors and university career services departments are teaching the future job applicants of America.

When I have to fire some poor soul on her third day of employment because she fell asleep (more than once) during orientation, I think about all of the amazing job candidates (who would have sold their kidneys to secure a position) who were not selected for the position that my narcoleptic ex-new-hire just discarded.

I have mentioned this before, but The Real Reson They Didn’t Hire You was created because I so very much want to be able to be transparent with candidates whom I choose not to hire so that they get a call back and a job offer for another great opportunity ASAP. They ask me for reasons, advice, and feedback on why they were not selected, and I have to issue a sterile “unfortunately our selection process and employment decisions are entirely confidential yadda yadda…” I want to spend an hour giving them the direct advice that will give them the opportunity to catch the attention of hiring managers for all the right reasons and receive an offer at an organization in which they will fit, in a career they will love. Unfortunately if I did that individually, I would be crossing a major professional line. So my mission is to occasionally put it out there on this blog and hope that the people who would most benefit from some guidance will stumble upon it.

Also I don’t ever get to use the phrase “Weird Clown-Related Fetish” at work without someone accusing me of having an issue with establishing appropriate boundaries. 

We don’t really want to learn that you appreciate dobermans, Justin Bieber, World of Warcraft, or light bondage from your email username. FirstNameLastName@gmail.com folks. It’s free and it won’t alienate the recruiter who receives your resume.

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9 thoughts on “ThisShouldOnlyBeYourName@SeriouslyJustYourName.com

  1. I wish people went by this in general. Oh, outside of the job application process CrazyForYorkies@DogLovers.com might be an ok address, but I have problems typing what looks like a drunken text about the hotness of your spouse and no matter how personal the meaning of the acronym iytihaglyskiaboj is to you, I am that much more likely to encounter issues. Seriously. And if you email me?? Yeah, I’m guessing it’s spam.

  2. You could start a consulting business independent of your work…My next door neighbor when I was a kid was an HR professional, and now she is consulting.

  3. In my former life, I was a university professor. One course I taught was a prep course for future secondary social studies teachers. I made a big deal about their resume emails and I even had a high school principal come in and talk to them about what would help them or hurt them in getting hired. Even then, I had some who wouldn’t listen. We also needed a special category of crime for Spring Break. Many of my students had gotten into minor troubles during Spring Break but those arrests still show up on your background check. It’s hard to tell folks about the “real world” when they are still living in a fantasy.

  4. In my former life, I oversaw the hiring process for afterschool and summer programs which attracted applications from a lot of college students and young educators. As I read your post, I flashed back to some of the most awful resumes I ever received. Professionalism in business is a skill that should be taught at all levels of education.

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