An open letter from your friendly neighborhood hiring manager

To the Hopeful Employment Applicants Whom It May Concern:

The python tattoo that wraps constricts around your neck (you badass) is best kept under cover until at least the second interview. (If  you are applying to tend bar, swing around a pole, or cashier at a used record
store, please ignore this tip and be sure that all body art is as conspicuous as possible throughout the process.)

Also, I am just going to assume that when you listed “did daily failing” under your current job responsibilities, you meant “did daily filing.” Please remember that though it may take a little extra effort and time, there is a bit more to proofreading than running a spellcheck.

Regards,

Employers Everywhere

(*Both of these stories are true. One occurred about five years ago, and the other occurred about five hours ago.)

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3 thoughts on “An open letter from your friendly neighborhood hiring manager

  1. Hahaha….I used to hire at Carmike cinemas…..I have seen some doozies….and they were not teenagers…..sad……

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